TRIXIE the HOLIDAY ELF part 2

Ahhhh and the story continues .........

Thank the Elves I made it out the office without too many people stopping me. I sat my box of possessions in the back seat.

Once I got settled in the driver's seat, I figured this is the best time to call my folks.

"Hello, Sandvisk residence" the voice answered

"Hi, Pappa," I replied, "how is little Nic doing?"

"How is my daughter doing? and my grand elf is fine. He is perfect. No need to rush I know it's busy at the workshop."

"Pappa, I quit today. I said. Pappa ... Pappa ... "

"I'm here, why did you quit?" He asked. "You love your job."

"Nicholas is back in town, and let's just say he's not the same boy I fell in love with."

"Does he know about little Nic? Somehow, is he going to try and come by. He asked in a slight panic.

"Pappa, Pappa .. no, he does not know about the baby and I'm not telling that pompous jackass about my son! On Rudolph's fuzzy red balls, he will not find out that he has a son and that I can have kids."

*Sighs* 

"I'm sorry I passed on this secret on you to you my daughter."

"Pappa, I'm not. I have a beautiful son. Look can you tell Far what's going on. Also, I have a job interview.

"Okay, I'll tell him. Where is this job interview?" he asked.

"Pappa, trust me, I have to go"

I hung up my cell. I needed a few minutes before I head over to Pleasure Lane where Jack's Place is.

I sat there for a few minutes thinking how I got to this point in my immortal life. 

**(Three years ago)**

"Trixie, come lay down next to me, I want to talk to you" said Nicholas.

"Okay Nicky. What do you want to talk about?"

"You know I love you, and I have loved you since high school."

Okay, but Nicky we have only been dating since the new year."

"I know and now that summer is upon us. I know I want a life with you."

"Nicholas, what are you saying? Are you saying what I think your saying?"

"Trxie Alvar Sandvisk, will you do me the honor of being my bride?"

"OOH before I say yes, I need to tell you something. Before you panic: I love you."

 

"What is it, Trix? You can tell me anything."

 

"Okay, you know how you wanted to make love to me, and I always put you off."

"Well, yes I just thought you were shy about sex."

"No, Nic. I may look like , dress like a girl , but I was also born with a penis. In the human world, they use the term 'intersex' meaning I have both male and female genitalia."

"I know, Trixie, your brother told me you were special. I don't care. I love you, for you."

"Nic, if people ever found out it can hurt your chances of being the next Santa, and the position might go to that dunderhead brother of yours."

"Look, I don't care. Let's go inside; but, do I get an answer to my question?"

"Yes, Nicholas" 

**Walking back to Nicholas cottage** 

"Trixie, you know you made me the happiest man in the whole universe."

" ...and you have made me happy, Nicholas."

"Okay, close your eyes, I have a surprise for you."

 

"Serious, Nicholas ... I don't need... "

" ...for me, please?" He pouted.

How can I say no to you, kiss his pouty lips. 

He opened the door. I was shocked. His cottage looks so beautiful - his sleigh bed.*LOL* in the shape of Santa's sleigh. How ironic! Roses the room smelled of cinnamon and pine, with nice slow jazz Christmas music playing in the background (yeah, I know he loves the holiday).

"OOH, Nicky! I love this! But what is this for?"

"It's for us! I want to make love you to. Is that okay?"

OOOOH Nicky!! that would be wonderful! Wait, you did not propose so you can get in my pants? Plus, you're not gay."

"I love you! and yes ... I may not be gay, but for you I would be anything. I love you with all of my heart and soul." Said Nicholas. I don't care about the fact you have a penis, I love you. Trixie I want to make love to you. 

TRIXIE THE HOLIDAY ELF.

Hi all some of you have read a previous version of this story well here is a longer version. Which is going to actually be a weekly post  hope you enjoy it 

Smooches 

Mo

11/10/15

Hi, my name is Trixie the Elf, or as the other Elves call me, Mrs. Klaus. 

I bet you're wondering why I sound so out of breath. Well, I just got finished having my chimney stuffed by Santa's fat candy cane. 

How, you ask?

Well, picture this: North Pole 2014 Santa's workshop. Me and the other Elves are gearing up for that oh-so-festive time of the year. When the resident slut-Elf Marsh-There's-Never-Been-An-Elf-I-Ain't-Fuck comes in sashaying his happy ass like it is no body's business. But, oh wait, I see he ain't an happy Elf and I wonder why?

"Oh, Marsh? What's wrong?" I asked.

"The rat bastard promised me I would be the new Mrs. Klaus!" he said after everything I did to get rid of the original bitch.

"Oh why aren't you going to be the new head-home-maker-in-charge?" I inquired

"Because, he said I'm good enough to suck his menthol meat flavored candy cane, and my boy pussy is not tight anymore" he whined.

"OOH" I said, but thinking *menthol meat flavored candy cane* Ugh!

"I mean, I even slept with that fucking red nosed reindeer, who smelled like a cross between Jack Daniels and a sewage treatment plant."

"Ooh, not good, and what else?"

"He said he needs a young woman to give him children" he started sobbing. 

"Poor dear," as I patted his little head. (*Get your mind out the gutters you pervs*).

**Trixie, please report to Santa's office** , came over the loud speaker 

"Ohhh" *sniff, sniff* "I hope our chat didn't get you in trouble?" whined Marsha.

"It's okay, I'll be fine" I said.

'Dammit! What does the old man want now?'

As I walked to the " stairway to promotion " or as I like to call it " the stairway to a self serving fat lazy bastid" 

*Knock, knock* I tapped on his door

"ENTER!" the voice bellowed.

I'm thinking to myself: 'I better plaster on my winning customer service smile' while I open the door.

To say I was shocked as I walked towards his desk, cause it was not the 'lazy fat bastid' but his handsome, sexy, fine-as-Italian-wine-son.

"Oh, Nicholas, I mean, Claus, Jr., I t-t-t-thought I was meeting with your father... " I stammered.

"Hello, Trixie, you are still gorgeous after all these years?" says Nicholas.

"You say that to all the elves over 100." I replied.

"Please, have a seat. I have a few things I want to talk to you about." stated Nicholas.

"Okay, Nick, I mean Mr. Claus" I corrected myself.

"Trixie," he sighs "it's just you and me, and I have always been Nick, or Nicholas." he said.

"Well, that's was a life-time ago, and we both have changed." I said.

He walked around the desk sat in the chair next me and grabbed my hand.

"Trixie, nothing has changed. I still love you." Nicholas said.

I slowly turned to face him. In a  calm voice, I said, "What do you mean, you still love me. If you loved me as much as you're saying, you would not have left me at the altar!"

"Not with that" said Mr. Claus, Jr. "What do you want to discuss? Because it's time for me to go home." I said.

Okay, Trixie, if this is how you want it? Fine. My father is handing over the North Pole to me, and I need a bride. I am coming to you with hat and heart-in-hand asking you to marry me." Nicholas said.

"Excuse me! Where's your father going? I thought he was looking for a wife?" I asked.

"What? My father? A wife? Oh please! My dad's gay. He's as gay as Jack Frost on Elves' Ho Alley." Nicholas stated. 

"OH! WOW, OKAY! SOOO, what does that have to do with you asking me to marry you?" I questioned.

"Because ... have you seen that flossed-up Twinkle Elf, Marsh running around here? I'm sending him with my father to get him out my hair."

"Besides, the only Elf for me, is you. Oh, and if you don't marry me your 're out of a job." He stated.

To say I was not just shocked and pissed by the proposal, but that little tidbit he threw in... 

I closed my mouth and counted to ten, then gave him my answer:

"NICHOLS BALSAM KLAUS THE 14TH! YOU SPOILED, SELF RIGHTEOUS, BLACK-HEARTED JACKASS!! IF YOU THINK FOR ONE MINUTE I WOULD ACCEPT A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL FROM YOU? YOU'RE BETTER OFF GETTING MARSH TO SUCK YOUR CANDY CANE! I WOULD RATHER WORK THE CORNER WITH JACK FROST IN ELVES' HO ALLEY THAN TO EVERY TRUST MY HEART TO YOU AGAIN!"

"On that note, I can't say it's been a pleasure! Good Bye! Nicholas Klaus!"

I power-walked to the door as fast as my little feet could carry me. Behind me I hear Nicholas calling my name, 'cause I know my Nic would never do what he just asked of me . Now I know my Nic is dead.

"Trixie! Trixie!" I turned to see who is calling my name. *sighs* "It's Marsha, I mean Marsh."

"Hey, Marsh! You're all smiles - good news I gather?"

"Oh yes! Big Nic is retiring, and he is taking me with him" he said.

"Oh, that's great! I'm happy for you. See, you were worried." I told him.

"How'd your meeting go with little Nic?": asked Marsh.

"My meeting with Mr. Klaus, Jr. went ... " I said trying to keep my anger under control.

"Look, Trixie, I know things here haven't been easy for you, being a transgender Elf, maybe things will change for you." Said Marsh.

"Look kiddo, you're still young and wet behind the ears. Junior and I have history and I'm not going backwards. I need to maybe find a new job or take a vacation." I said.

"What do you mean 'a new job or vacation'" asked Marsh. You're the only one who can keep the departments running."

I finally made it back to my office. I was not going to breakdown in public. I slid down to the floor letting the tears fall. Thinking how could someone I use to love become so cold-hearted. 

I look at the little chubby face in the photo on my desk *sighs* 'Oh my little one I never thought I would lay eyes on your father again, but I do know I cannot stay here and work because sooner or later he will find out about you.'

I packed my things and left my resignation letter hoping I could get out before Marsh spilled the beans. I hear the 'Rent Me-Love Me' ring tone I knew it was the North Pole Number One Rent Boy Jack Frost. I answered: "Hello, Jack. If your calling me, that means your legs are no longer in the air" I laughed.

"Oh please, you trick, at least I'm getting dicked. You haven't had none since Nicholas" replied Jack.

"For the love of Hades, don't mention that pompous arrogant dick-wad" I sighed. "He's back in town." 

"I know Trix, that's why I called. I also heard you quit?" stated Jack 

"For the love of Holly and drunk Elves - How'd you know?" I just typed up, 'Never mind.' I said.

"Marsh called and told me" Jack said. 

"Does your ex knows about little Nick?" asked Jack.

"No, and he won't that's why I am quitting." 

"Hey, is that job offer still available?" I asked.

"Trix, you are not becoming a rent boy!!" Jack shouted thru the phone.

"No! lube-for-brains" I said, "the one to manage your business and your stable of rent boy Elves."

"Oh yes, for you? Of course, 'cause I got some new Elves who need a stick hand." Jack said. 

"Okay, look, I'm leaving now - walking to my car, but I need to stop by my folks and check on the baby. I see you soon."

TBC

A Review of Red on the Moon by Rhiannon Wellman

What do you get when you have Mating heat , dead bodies , new partner and a serial killer on the lose. You get the new book Red on the Moon ( Mark of the Moon book 1) by Rhiannon Wellman. 

In this book we meet Lucas Donald the oldest of the four Donald brothers. Who just happen to be on the San Francisco police department and who is also an alpha . Lucas has been living a pretty dull life for shifter. Work and home with the occasional one night stand . 

Now thrown in a serial killer, missing organs and a high body count that is rising . the lets throw in a new partner who flips all of Lucas alpha and Mating switches you have the making of a love story with some mayhem thrown in. But then Lucas meets agent Toby Devin a young man that flips all his switches . 

Rhiannon crafted in this story three dimensional character who you can fall in love with. We follow Lucas and Toby as they work on a case and Lucas fall in love but one problem arises will Toby accept Lucas as him maye and as a wolf  minor character who get you interested in know what will happen next in  their lives. I hope there is a sequel because this books leaves you wanting more. I highly recommend this book because your interest is peaked from beginning to end. 

http://www.amazon.com/Red-Moon-Rhiannon-Wellman-ebook/dp/B00ZQCPH7S/ref=sr_1_sc_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1434997311&sr=8-2-spell&keywords=Rhianno+Wellman

The more things change the more thy stay the same

So this past Friday night I decided to go out. I went to see some friends dance and support them. They were hosting an underwear party and it was damn sure an interesting site. I had a really good time watching two of the sexy men from the Haus of Cake(Seth Fornea and Jared LeBlanc) shake their bon bon and work a room. Let me tell you they damn sure can shake it. So any who my time was  with them was nearing an end and I was making my was across the famous 42nd street. Let's just say I got late night dinner theater in a five part act.
Act I: couple arguing on tenth ave. If I wanted to see mess break ups I'll watch bravo for that. Well anyway girl is ahreaking at boyfriend about his aide piece. How she won't care if the bitch is upstairs and how he is a douchebag and abman whore. I was like damn ..what was his response maybe if you gave better head I would not need a side piece. On that note the light change and I stated walking ( BTW the light had changed three times already before his response).

ACT II
Walking across 42 nd street, a loud talking drunken twenty something guy.  Having deep emotional conversation about commitment with his lady friend. He wanted her to confirm the conversation of their level of commitent to him. She had this bored look on her face of" not tonight ".. 

Act III
About thrity feet away tpu had a very upset TSWF who was crying into her phone doing what I would call the WWW. Asking the person on the other end why are you being so mean to me? What did I ever do for you not to love me any more? For me that's is grating on the nerves, she should have had more balls and told whomever to suck her balls and go have drinks. Oy vey.

Act IV
So I finally made it to 42 and 8th ave I had decides to walk to the 40th street entrance of the subway. So I get to 41 street and what do I see an MTA bus driver picking up a lady of the night. Me being the sarcastic person I  said o see Tue MTA is going your way. I mean he got major balls to do that so close to his job.

Act V.
Finally made it to 40th street as I was making my way to the subway . I walked past five ladies of the night. Four of those ladies were comforting and offering advice to the new girl on the block. As I got closer to the station I said to myself the more they change things the more they stayed the same. So that was my Friday night in NYC. How was your Friday night?

Whining Bitches Please Grow the Fuck Up

Normally I don't do two blog post a week but something recently made me pull out my super bitch claws and ready to take a few pair of non bitch brass balls off.

Yes it's that time a year again the award season and recently we just had Rentboy international present the hookies. As I stated in my earlier post was fun funny and child a CFT mess. But what got me was a post about honoring porn stars and escorts as a high school certificate gig. 

Ok that rubbed me the wrong way because in the straight community when it comes to escorting we have the players ball and when it come to the porn industry we have the AVN awards . So basically it's ok for the straight community and not for the gay community Ohhh please suck my schweddy balls. 

The post really pissed me off and I'm like the men in this industry have more class and intelligence then some of the men they spend their time with if you know what I mean . For some escorting is a side gig for others its a second career. 

The post was like the claws came out because they were not part of the freaking in crowd. It takes a strong person mentally, emotionally and physically to be an escort and a porn star. I give them props for doing it. 

But when you bitch whine and moan about it you sound like a sniveling jealous twat. If you think you got the chops then go for it. If not shut the fuck up and sit in the corner like a good little bitch. 

Trust me this is coming from a woman who worked in the European adult industry, no I'm not telling you in what function. 

In the words of me, Queen La Go-Go " those who can do porn.... Those who can't just bitch". But Miss Ru says it best" If you can't love yourself, how in the hell can you love some body else."

From my go-go house of love to yours 

Love , Peace and Afro Grease.

Penis, Porn and Politics

Penis, Porn and Politics: this year Hookie awards

Yeah I know I you looked at the title and was like what does politics have to to with porn. You be surprised how much electioneering goes on. Let's call a spade a spade , a hooker a hooker and a dick a dick. Yeah I know it sounds confusing but it really isn't follow along. 

Ok so this year I went to my second adult industry awards and I was like so stoked that two wonderful men Boomer Banks and Rocco Steele were up for some major awards in the adult service industry. These two men are funny, smart , kind, sassy, sexy and down right delicious. 

I am really good when it comes to picking winners when it comes to award shows. So in my little fat heart I knew these men will sweep their respective categories. So let me set the  mood .  

The awards were held at BPM the club connected to the OUT hotel. Dimly lit but very tasteful done. It's kind of funny they started on CFT( Color Folk Timezone ). So once we started Miss Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 was the hottest with the mostest. 

Ok so once the opening song and dance number with jokes thorn in was done. They started right away. The first couple of categories I was not too surprised because I did not vote for them but when we got to Best Porn Star Escort  I knew as a betting woman Boomer should have won. When they announce the winner Aleks Buldocek, I was like WTF who is this. I was upset I am not gonna front. So then we moved on to Best Top like I said I had my money set on Rocco winning but when they called Austin's name I was deflated. Yes I have watched Austin work for Randy Blue but he is not Big Daddy. There is something about Rocco that makes you want to take him like a slut in heat.  Duncan Black won best bottom that was cool. 

The next category was Best Body again if I had a line to a bookie in Vegas I was laying odds that Sean Zeveran would have won. But some guy name Kurtis Wolfe, I mean I saw him and hell no he does not have the body Sean has. So I'm like something ain't right ok I kept  sitting back  I did not vote for the best bear/Cub but the winners were Will Foster and Ted Byrns . 

I did not vote for the fetish kink category the winner was Brian Bonds. Now we get to Best Dress/Style and yes I was like a cheer leader when they called Boomer's name. The man does have one fucking hell of a fashion sense. I say I want him to give me the Miss Fame makeover.  So I was Uber happy for Bacon Bits. 

Best Ass category again I was pulling for Sean like hooker in hunts point. But when the named Tyson Tyler, I was like DaFuck, really Sean has the type of ass that if you bounce a quarter off it you get back a dollar. When Mr. Tyler josh owed the world his ass I was like I got a better rounder ass and I'm a female. 

Then we get to Best Cock and shit I was like Big Daddy better when this cause my inner Shaquetta was gonna come out. When they named Rocco for the award I was happy for him. I mean hell that's not a cock he has thats  a blue whale. I mean good gravy you will a whole lot of crisco to take that cock. Moving along  the next category was Massage the winner was Elijah Wood. 

The next category was Best Fantasy Boyfriend I vote my wide ass off for Killian James, he should have won but Nooo the winner was Mike De Marko, have no clue maybe I'm not all that knowledgable. But I felt so bad for Killian why cause he was sitting across from me. 

Ok now we got to the Best Daddy category like I keep telling folks I may be fat I may be ugly but I ain't stupid . That awards should have went to Rocco hands down and some guy name Chris Roberts won. Who the hell is he I mean Rocco makes you want to drop and say yes Big Daddy, anything Big Daddy and scream harder Big Daddy. I was sorely disappointed 

Best social media should have been Boomer no fucking question about it. But the winner was a Leo Sweetwood Best website went to Nick Sterling and I voted for Nick he is a cutie and then we got to the coup de grace Mr. international Escort 2015 I knew that if Rocco did not when this I was truly gonna get ugly but in the end Big Daddy Rocco Steele was crowned Mr. international 2015.

Now let's get down to the nitty gritty the folks who should have sweep their respective categories didn't and I could not figure out why. I mean Sean, Rocco and Boomer are very popular and have one hell of a fucking following. So I could not get it until a little birdie said favorites had to beat out fan favorites. Politics do not belong if you are asking for fans to vote the. Let it be honest voting not the back room bullshit like we see in our everyday politicians. 

Don't get me wrong RentBoy dot come but on one hell of a show. But next year let it be honest voting and winning by the fans and not the powers to be.  Would I go again hell yeah to support Big Daddy and Bacon Bits. 

I did get to meet Jesse Jackman and Dirk Cabler OMG they are the most awesomest and sweet Jeebus is Jesse tall as heck. Damn Dirk looks yummy in leather. 

To Rocco and Boomer you guys are the best and no matter what are winners in everything yall do. #Boober #infinitlove #loveisyourreligion #BigDaddy #Baconlvr

Never To Old to Live Again

Never Too Old to Live Again by Bellann Summer is book one in the Lubirea Mia series is a paranormal love story. 

Our MC in this book are  Todd and Stephan, we meet Todd when he is no bigger than a tree stump. When he moves in next door to Stephan as a child. Stephen is a puma who's old enough to remember the Model T. Their chance meeting one day when in a child wisdom he ask his neighbor are you a crabby bastard, like my dad said you are. Without missing  a beat Stephen goes Yes.  But when at neither one knew was that they were the mate to each other.

Todd moves away and Stephen goes into hiding from the paranormal council and he has his reasons fir doing so. But Stephen is also hiding a very big secret from the paranormal community.  Does this mean our MC's will never meet nope let's let fast forward twenty years. Todd is now a successful writer and editor and Stephan is still a crabby bastard with a secret.

How do these two cross path again you wonder well when Stephen child hood home comes up for sale he buys is much to Stephan chagrin . Let's just say bright colors do nothing in making Stephan less of a crabby bastard. Well their meeting was not quiet romantic in human standards. When Stephan gets a wiff of Todd's scent he crashes thru the back door and pounces on that poor sweet man like he was the last Nasty Pig leather jock at Mr. Leather. 

Trust me when I said Todd is taken for a surprise when the big cat on top of him transform into a naked sexy man. Yeah his day was so not going well now and it got even nuttier when Stephan tells Todd he is his mate and nothing else . Let's just say Todd did not take it well. 

But like any relationships it takes time to get to know and work things except when your mate keep major secrets from you. Let's says between the council and their issues, missing females, lions, salamanders pregnancy and hot sex......this book got more surprises than a group of go-go boys at Decadence.

If you want to know about these secrets and Stephan's true age then you need to read this book and the other books that will come in this series. 



http://www.bookstrand.com/never-too-old-to-live-again

The Holland Brothers

This review was written almost two years ago but was recently edited for content So I hope this help new readers begin their journey into the world of MM e books .

I have read all four of Toni Griffin Holland Brother"Mate series" and I adore it.

 The first book Unexpected mate was sweet and endearing with Marcus Holland unexpectedly  meeting his mate Brian Townsand  on the side of the road when Brian's car has a flat after having being disowned by him parents and his birth pack. 

 Ever the heterosexual male Marcus was thrown for a loop to see that his destined mate is a male.  Marcus made a total jackass of himself but will understanding from his mate and boy did he have to work on forgives from his mate. Eventhough he was forgiven their relationship started with a bump and had a little side detoure in the way of a not a natural bold hussy in a miniskirt. This is a story about forgiveness, understanding and most of all love. If you want a sweet romance read this book it will help you on your way to understanding all of the Holland brothers.

The second book in this series is Determined Mate, this book made me cry and in the beginning and hoped in the in. Pack Alpha Alex Holland  never thought he would find his mate until he hears Brian talking to his best friend Jason. Even with that great werewolf hearing Alex still had a hard time wrapping his mind around his mate.

When scared physically and emotionally hurt Jason pulls up to the Holland house not only does he find Brian but he meets his mate and an jealous Marcus. Not feeling like he can deal with meeting his mate he turns and runs only to be tackled by Alex. Can you say what a way to say hello. It takes having a best friend in Brian and an understanding mate to help Jason on the road to healing. Yes this mating started out with fear of the unknowing but you have to read this book to see if Jason gets his wolf and does Alex gets his mate. I will not tell.

Book three in this series is Protective mate all i say is who say men can not raise daughters. Simon Holland has been feeling melancholy since his older brothers have found their mates and he is wondering if he will find his. Not know that the new wold who is sitting in his living room is not only his mate Zach, but wait he has a two year old Daughter!!!!!!..Simon is not sure what to think or how to handle this situation. But then there is more drama then at a drag queen competition. When Brian ends up very ill and no one and i mean no one knows what is the matter with him.  Let's not for get vile evil religious twunts, I mean little Haley  grandparents trying to run off with sweet Haley.  Will Simon get his mate? Will Zach finally meet a man who will love his daughter as much as him? Will they ever find out what is wrong with Brian? 

The fourth book in this series is Forbidden Mate, ahh yes the youngest of the Holland brothers Patrick " Rick" has known and loved his mate Jack Richmond for ever. Yes that Jake best friend to Alex and pack beta since he was sixteen. Can you say sweet jeebus. But yet Jake breaks young Patrick heart one night with a heart wrenching phone call. Boy does he feel like an ass when he makes that call but he has a good reason to protect his mate from his father and former pack beta Arthur. What jake does not realized is that once he tells his bigoted father and makes that phone call will change Patrick and Jake's lives for a longtime.

Patrick throws himself into school and friends. Jakes does what he has to do for himself school wise and job wise. They have not spent much time around each other unless it was at holland family functions or pack functions but the pain of Jake's phone call still resides deep in Patricks heart. It was not until Brian falling Ill and the Alpha sending these two star cross lovers to the other side of the country to  seek the answers they needed from the Alpha of the Altheron pack. This mating has more problems then straight men marching at a pride event. Now throw in the Altheron pack beta and Lort does fireworks happen. Will Jack and Patrick finally get their shyt together and make? How will the rest of the holland family especially Alex feel about his brother mating with his best friend. Will Arthur accept Jake and Patrick or will be cause more trouble. Read and find out cause there are loads of surprises. 

You have to read these books fall in love with them damn sexy Holland Brothers.

Depression and me

It's funny how society shames a person with mental illness. It's funny how people are more concern about physical pain and not about a persons mental or emotional pain. 

Hi my name is Mo and I have suffered a TBi. The result of suffering a TBI has lead to me being diagnosed with clinical depression. Let me back up TBi is the new common term. What I have was diagnosed as brain damage. Trouble with some short term and longer memory loss and mood swings. 

The new term is now Traumatic Brain Injury with clinical depression. Yeah doctors have tried their so called magic pills did they work NO. What worked for me was reading and what I use to do was write. 

There are nights that I cry and cannot figure out why. There are days where my mood is so dark than I really do want to pill a Janis Joplin, what gets me thru is my boys my babies who love me worts and all. But having this never ending dark tunnel is a bitch. 

I try to be support for my friends but sometimes I wonder will I ever have a support friend. 

Having a TBI gave me other issues, I do have social anxiety, I have what so e doctors have called facial and facial seizures. I don't to well in large crowds unless I am with someone I can trust. 

The funny thing is I am scared to tell folks how I mentally feel. There are days I tell people what they want to hear and not what I feel. I don't want to be label the chick with the mental issues. So some days I just say "Eh" or " I ain't dead yet ".

So now y'all know I am not as sane as society wants me to be. There's more to me but I am not willing to share. So I'll leave you with this little ditty.
Do you see me, do you see inside the pain I have to hide. 
Yes I make you laugh but those are the days I cry.
Because I have to hide the struggle inside,

Do you see me, do you know I hide.
all because I'm struggling to stay alive.
Do you know I'm one pill away.
from pulling a Janis Joplin I joke about everyday.

Pull up your big girl panties I have been told.
But the numb nutted fucks don't actually Know 
how their words make me feel 
Like what I'm feeling is not real.

There no magic pill to make my hurt go away.
Because I live with depression everyday. 
No they don't see me or know how I feel.
Cause their condescending words adds to my ills.

I walk in the darkness trying to find the light 
Wishing I had someone to tell me it's gonna be alright.

Do you now see me and understand
Every now and again I need you to hold my hand. 

Why Blacks don't do open carry

Why don't blacks do open carry?

Ha ha I know it is not a laughing matter, but sometimes you just have to laugh at the stupidity of a question. I was recently reading an article on Daily kos and someone asked why don't blacks do open carry. 

My first thought was are you serious, no I mean are you seriously asking this jackass question. Let's be serious for a moment and let's talk honestly back in the early sixties when the black panthers first came into existence they were a non for profit black social organization. Who primarily did the things for the lower class and the poor social services agencies did not want to do. 

The black panthers did not start out as a domestic terrorist group. But they were treated like one for many reasons. The main one being race, when a group of color men started a free lunch program, pre school and other services that the poor was not getting. mr. Charlie aka Law enforcement community did not like that so what do they do they try to take them down. So what did they do they tried talking to local officials and showed them they were on the up and up. But nooo Mr. Charlie did not like that so they started harassing them by using white supremacist to harass and threaten the black panthers. So to protect them selves they legally brought guns, rifles and ammo. 

Well lord knows those negros are going to start an uprise and we can't have that. The the infamous shoot out between the LAPD and the Black panthers. All because they wanted to assert their second amendment rights. 

Now let fast forward to now, if a black man wanted to do open carry he would be on the six o'clock news as a dead man. Why because law enforcement does not want to see African Americans with guns. I am a card carrying member of the NRA, I am a legal gun owner in two states and hopefully I can add NY to that list. Would I do open carry hell no why cause I like my life. 

Recently we heard about a young black man with an air rifle being shot down by law enforcement in an open carry state. The funny thing a middle age white man walked  in to an airport displaying his AR15 assault rifle was he gunned down no they cops just arrested him and took his gun away. So tell me again two open carries and two totally different out comes.

Again ask me why blacks don't do open carry. Cause if we did there would be a bullet in our backs. 

Being a minority in an NYPD world

Being a minority in an NYPD world.

This will offend many but I truly need y'all to think what it is like to be a minority of color and sexually orientation in an NYPD world. I'm not cop bashing cause I know some that are wonderful but I want y'all to understand the culture that is the NYPD and their so called CPR in my book means. Cruelty, Profanity and Racism. 

What does it mean to be a black person living in NYC when the NYPD want to see me six feet deep. It means as a mother I have to worry about my unarmed sons being shot down for standing their ground. For asking questions when their constitutional and civil rights are being violated when they have done nothing wrong.

See I have been on both sides when dealing with the NYPD as a victim, as a professional and as a parent. You see when I was the victim of a shooting, I had a Sargent tell me I know nothing about violence or living in a violent neighborhood. Well me being me I had to let him know I grew up on a place that at one point was known as the carjacking capital of the world. 

As a professional I use to see violence in my day to day activities as a DV social worker and how they treated the victims. See what they don't want to let the world know is that law enforcement has the highest rates of alcoholism, divorce and domestic violence. 

As a parent the cops stopped my oldest son when he was in middle school wanting to search his bag before he got on the subway. I told them no he is a minor and he is going to school. I told my son to go , the cop was like no. I told my son get o. The train. Like my said told the cop I gotta live with her, she is more scarier than you. When my son left they said they can hold me for interrupting their job. I told him to get his supervisor and precent commander. Let's just say he was shocked when a higher up told him he was wrong for approaching a minor.

When I went to pride this year people do not understand facial expressions tell it all. I have seen the way the older cops look at the pride participants with sneers and utter disdain. I always say if you do not want to work pride give the job to someone who will work it with pride.  When it comes to dealing with violence against the LGBT community if it is not an election year or you have pro gay politician they do not want to investigate it. Like I said I have seen it up close and personal. 

The thing with the NYPD is that they are racist and they are still homophobic. Please  do not say but you have minorities officers . See those officers want to be accepted so bad by their lighter colleagues that learn bad behaviors those are the cops I call the house niggas. I am not going to bite my tongue. 

So yeah I have had my dealings with them, yes you have some cops that are great at their jobs. But you have the ones who think having a gun and a badge gives them the biggest set of dick and balls around. 

So what happened to Eric Garnier is nothing new, the PBA union dick Pat Lynch is always going to be a yeasty infected pieces of shit. To the house niggas in the PBA union who let Pat Lynch parade them in front of the cameras, don't think you are equal cause you are not y'all are just another set of niggas and spics in their eyes. 

So yeah I used the for mention slurs for folks to understand how they NYPD really see the general public. 

Saying something nice to Authors

Saying something nice to your favorite Authors. 

Recently Miss.Sue Brown posted on her status say something nice to author day. To me it sounded like a great idea but also for me I was like I could but I don't want to be seen as a demanding, not knowing her boundaries stalker reader. 

Over my short very young life time, hush it (Kage and Marsh), I have made friends with a lot of authors. Some have become very close friends. Authors have given readers a way to escape the daily stresses of everyday loving wether it's from EDJ, jackass relationships or just everyday family life. Sometimes I don't think how much an author may have saved a person or given them the courage to finally live their dream of being a writer and y'all have. Ohh trust me I am not a writer by any imagination and never will be. 

But when I am not feeling well I know I can pick up my iPad flip my kindle app and find books by authors who works I enjoy and love rereading. So as a reader I want to say thank you.

But also remember your reader can be your biggest support when others won't and they can also be a good friend and sounding board. 

To the authors who I have been a sounding board to I thank you for that and can't wait to read what comes up next.

Sincerely 

An avid reader and fan. 

Is It Ever Ok For An Author To Verbally Abused A Fan?

Is it ever appropriate for a author to abuse another author fan.

No it is not why should fans have to take abuse from an author. The only and I mean the only way I see that happening if the fan is becoming a stalker and I mean a true stalker in the sense of the word. 

The funny thing is that when the author who is doing the abusing is not the author of the book.  When does the non main author get off speaking on the main author behalf. Who is the non main author to tell another author fan that you cross boundaries. Not know what the relationship the fan has with the other author. 

But yet when the author of the book does not put a stop to the childish, high school popular bitch bullying then yeah it is a problem. A lot of authors see to forget we as fans are what make or break you. We as fans spend our money buying your works. We as fans recommend your works to friends. 

But yet at last loyal, honest true fans who have been with you during the good and during the bad times. Feel that when their favorite author cannot rain in their friends from being vindictive twunts. Then why should we spend our money on their works.

The non main author should have known better to do that in public, evidently that person has no home training. As in you must remain professional at all times unless the person is making threats against your life. But if that is not happening, you have just made your self out to look like a bullying cunt. Which mean you can not separate professionalism from personal. 

That means you do you have the god given sense to keep your mouth shut . If the main author has no problem, then maybe you need to keep quire. Cause you have just made yourself look like the stalker, the over protective let me keep the fans away pit bull. 

So is it ever ok to bully, disrespect, belittle a fan no. Because you don't know what effect it will have on you as the author. Cause see when you let your fan get be disrespected by a disgruntled author who has not had much success in recent months. Talk to your fans that way then your fans will tell their friends and then tell other authors that they have known longer and those authors may not want to work with you or buy your works. 

Fans are the backbone of this industry treat your fans well and they I turn will do the same with you. Let your fans be disrespected, belittled and bullied, well then let the chips fall where they lay. 

Differences

Hello my zany band of misfits.

So el capitan our resident grammar nazi Kage Alan has given up the topic of differences we see when we travel. Hmmmm I wonder on all my years pre children travel do I still remember the differences . The answer hell yes so here we go . Buckle up babies it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

In my youthful formative years I lived in the Netherlands and to say I notice a difference right away was an understatement. I mean if anyone knows anything about the Dutch history they have had a rather tumultuous history when it comes to blacks. But it was refreshing to be seen as a person and not a black person. Their views on sex and sex workers was totally different then what I had known and seen in the US.  Where they are sexually liberated, we here in the US have puritanical views on sex. We keep it taboo and they bust the door wide open. While I was living there I use to walk down the red light district and just look at the ladies sitting I the window waiting for their next client and they were all part of the sex workers union. I was stunned wow they actually have a union for ladies of ill repute. But when it came to me folks asked me how does it feel to be living in a foreign country and learning a new language. I was treat with respect.  But I can say that my adopted home country has change they have gotten their version of the tea party and when I use to go back for summer visits I saw the change in the red light district but also when certain new residents brought male child prostitution with them it started having a adverse affect. On the country and the type of visitors we were getting and then it brought in an anti Muslim . It's still a great franking country and I do miss living there and if you go use the tram and visit the museums. But for heavens sake study the map before you go so you don't look like a damn tourist.

Well I went to Spain with my husband I always wanted to visit and see the architecture they have. But because of their history with the moors they look down on people of color. When my husband and I checked in the front desk asked him if he wanted a separate room for his house keeper aka me. He was like no she is not my house keep she is my wife. He asked for the manager lets just say we stayed a a chain hotel and never went back. But the way they spaniards acted reminded me the way southerns have treated and still treated blacks. I also noticed that here when European spaniards come for a visit they look down on blacks. I was at the Olympic flame dinner in Manhattan I was having lunch with a few friends. I was waiting when I notice a group of Spanish tourist came in. I was sitting at the next table the sat down until the notice me and they asked the manager to move them to another table. When asked why they told them cause their might be more coming. I may not speak Spanish but I damn sure under stand enough when you say to your companions why did they have to sit us so close to that dark skinned person. If I was lighter skinned they would have stayed. Cause when my friends finally arrived they were shocked to see a lighter skinned female befriends with a dark skinned woman.  So yeah there are diff emcees. It yet there are similarities.

So it really does not matter where you go cause you will see some similarities and some differences. To me the major difference is food some places have better food and spices and some places don't. Not every country can do soul food or even friend chicken.

Ok I tried so ttyl ..go on and see what the rest of the Merry band of misfits have to say. 

Topic Tuesday..Weddings and Award shows.

When we were given this weeks topic I did not do my normal kaveching that I always do because I thought this would be lighthearted fun topic. Boy was I wrong folks were having angina over it.

I normally do not do awards shows and I decided to watch the Grammys on this past Sunday night. There was only two reasons why I wanted to watch it one for Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis preform and two to watch what was originally planned as 33 same sex couples get married. I was like that is going to be epic. To say it was not would have been telling half truths.

To me the majority of the show was long and long. But when they got to Mackelmore, Ryan Lewis and Mary Lambert singing Same Love   I got all misty eyed I will admit.  I adore the song and the message that comes with it.

When Queen Latifah walked back out on stage and preformed the ceremony I did cry it was the most single beautiful sight of love I have every seen. The only thing that kinda scared me was they brought out the Krypt keeper , I am sorry it was Madonna who looked like death warmed over and dressed up.

To me that was the best Grammy show ever just for that. For those of you who kavetched it was not about the awards in my eye but it was showing the world that no matter who you love that we all share in the same love.

Ok I am going back in the corner now. 

Self promoting

Morning to all.

Now this week topic is a bit odd for me cause one it am not a writer nor can I write.  So self pronto it what can a person do to promote themselves when they have a book published. Ok well besides social media which a lot of authors do. I say if you can do a few book conventions a year and book fairs. Get some cards made up with your website , Facebook, google plus pages of you have one. Blog about it join a blogging group. 

I say check with your local LGBTQI associations and see what events they have. Try to get your self there as a guest or speaker. Check out the local universities Gay/Straight alliance groups to go as a speak or donate books. 

Maybe I am wrong but try getting gay adult erotic performers interested in reading your book or visiting your site by showing them what you as an MM author and the community has done. Try putting a small add in some of the leading magazines if you have the cash. 

Get a shirt, bag or hat made up with your cover or site on it. As an establish author or up an coming author you have to  be willing to self sell yourself.  Being an author is not just about writing but selling your self to the masses. 

The MM community is a small community but with the right marketing tool it can become bigger. So  work it  become a self promoting pimp. Pimp your work don't feel that your publishing company will do it for you. You have to want it more than they do. 

So I wonder what the Merry band of misfits I know have to say on this weeks topics. 

The Good The Bad and The Ugly of 2013

Well folks here we are another year to an end yeah right ( sarcasm  runeth over). Today our dreamless leaders ask what is was good and bad about your year of 2013.  Well I know I might make folks angry but it's life.

The good my oldest child graduating from Henry Street Schools for international Studies. Here on the  Lower East Side of NYC. The boy did me proud and now he is a freshman at SUNY Oswego. The other good news is my middle baby is in middle school. The adjustment is hard but I have faith he will be fine.

The bad where  the hell should I begin ...filing for divorce on the day my oldest graduated, getting ill with an illness thy can't pinpoint and now having my youngest son father sue me for custody. Yeah my year is ending with a bang.

The Ugly basically me I have found I need to fix me before I can look for love an acceptance. So my resolution this year is not to share things with folks near or far. To deal with all medical and other issues on my own. So that is how my year was. How was yours. 

Favorite things to cure the holidays blues

Joyeux Noël

Now when your fearless leader gave us this assignment on what cure your holiday blues. I was like ok cool until I read the rest of this post and then was like I so do not need to know about what the Red headed Granny was trying to put up Alan's ass...

So here is what help me during the holidays first I start with a large cup of Java  then I put on the Thin Man movie staring William Powell and Myrna Loy and watch the whole series I have DVD " hush it Kage" yes I know not blu ray heavens to Betsy.  Then from there my sister who house I am at makes the kids a light lunch..me more coffee now after watching the thin man series..the kids play the WII sports and I read then we watch Allister Simms A Christmas Carol. Followed by dinner...four after dinner dinks for me with alcohol then dessert and finally a Charlie Brown Christmas. 

But this year things are different I am not going to be at my sisters for I do not have the energy to deal with family this year and plus I do not have enough alcohol in my house to take with me. So me and the boys will be home. But I would do all the same things here so all is goo in my world. So that is how I cure my holiday blues..what do you all do?

So on that note I wish you all 
A Merry Christmas
Vrolijk kerstfeest, Hyvää Joulua,Frohe Weihnachten, Jwaye Nwèl and ¡Feliz Navidad

The Basterdization of Thanksgiving and the greed of Black Friday.

This post might not be all that riveting but I will give it the old college try.

When Jeff posted this weeks topic about store being open on thanksgiving and Black Friday I was like ha ha... But then I actually had to sit back and say this is why I loathed the begin jog of the holiday season. The spirt of thanksgiving is supposed to be about family, love ones and being thankful that we all have that time to spend with one another.  Incoming years it's has not been about that in our society, I have seen women plan their holidays around the stuff for Black Friday. I mean they go on line in stoner to see of they can get a sneak peak at Black Friday deals. They even plan where the family will be so they can be at the nearest target, Walmart, jcpenny, kamart, toysrus  for those door buster sales. That's not for me I mean my sister loves doing things like that I did it once with her*we will get back to that in a moment *.

Now my opinion about store being open on a holiday *except for the supermarket* and they close early so that the staff can be with their family..But noooo big box stores now have to say we need money folks like to spend on things they don't need..yes yes we will get more money by sudecing their inner greed. Is it right hell no but hey money is money and the big box stores don't care if they are getting blood money.  Walmart is the worst offender of any big store in this damn country. The way they treat their employees is horrid. They pay them yes true slave wages 90 percent of all Walmart employees are receiving government benefits to help them survived because Walmart is too damn greedy and cheap to give them a living wage. Walmart USA will not let their employees join a union and  but yet ifwalmart wants to open a store in a foreign country they have to let the employees unionized but not her.

Walmart tried to open a store here innNYC and they pulled out all the stops and even had Emperor Bloomberg in their corner and the city co uncle put an end to those plans because they said due to the fact you will not let your employees unionized we cannot let you in.  You see bloomers is not a fan of unions and he is seen as trying to be a union buster. So that was one of the good things the NYC city council did for it's people.

Another reason why I am not a fan of Walmart is the fact a security guard lost his life because of the Black Friday mobs. Walmart did not hire enough security to man the front doors. When the crowd rushed in the young man was trampled to death. Walmart stated it was the victim fault he got killed and they were not paying the fine.

But most of all the folks are to blame to get wrapped up in that frenzy of  $88 flat panel tv was it worth it. I mean fighting over parking spaces where a 66 year old man sliced another diver down to the bone because of a damn parking space.  When hearing and reading about things like this makes me wonder what the hell has happen to us as human beings and where is the humanity that I thought all of us were raised with.

Ok so my Black Friday story happend a few years ago I was at my sister's in Jersey for one thing I am so not a morning person and with out my coffee you can call me Satan's wife. She woke me up at three so we can get to JC penny for some damn Black Friday sale. We get to the store we are standing in line like crazy people. When the line started moving these lovely middle age suburban soccer moms started pushing like they were about to sell out the last pair of implants. I asked the woman nicely not to push the dyed job ignore and keep pushing well the last time she pushed me she got a cup of scalding hot coffee down her blouse. With the dyed job screaming and her equally dyed job and booked enhanced friend yelling I looked at my sister and never again will I do this and this is why I shop in February.

Ok folks I think I gave you my view check and see what the rest of the crew had to say on this subject.

Later folks.

Description vs. Dialogue

So when we got this weeks topic. I was a bit huffed. I was a little surprised by it. I had showed someone what I had written and they had said good description but where is the dialogue. I was like I can't do that I don't know how the person was like if you can write a face book post you can do it.

My issue is I can tell you the story but can't tell you the story. I can tell you what's going on but not in how the characters is suppose to do it.  So there that is my dilemma .

Ok I was not gonna post but since I had time I between cooking four birds I said why the hell not.

What are your issues with dialogue and description.