Suicide

As most of you know I am not a blogger but for some reason Mr.Jeff Adkins thinks I can do this. I understand this week is suicide prevention week and what this means to me. I have to admit I did try to take my own life once. It was after a very bad car accident after a month in the hospital I was finally able to come home well lets just say I was not in the right frame of mind.i was having a hard time revering things and having to lean on people for help. I was in a cast from the waits down I had my jaw wired shut so eating solid foods were out. I was at a low point of having to have some one feed me and clean me up. I was still on morphine drip and let's just say I knew what it would do . I figured out a way to bypass the timing and set it on a constant flow .. Needless to say I was smart but not that damn smart cause  my nurse came in and from what I was told she called Emergency services I was taken to the hospital. They had to force open my jaw insert a tube to get me to breathing on my own. When I was finally conscious lets just say I had a room full of folks wondering if I lost my ever loving mind . Wen I explained to them how humiliated I was for folks to see me like this and to have to depend on folks for every day care I could not deal with it and deal with the fact that I knew I could not teach again. So I figured I would end it and not be a burden to folks and society anymore. Well after everyone I had their say it took me a moment to realized that I do have a purpose and usefulness in life and that when things get bad and you feel that you have no end to find someone you trust and talk your fears away. In the end when life seems that it is not going to get better it does. You just have to decide to stick around and see the amazing outcome.